asexualls:

Aries: what is a “MILF”? my friend called you that today
Taurus: how to you spell “mayonnaise”?
Gemini: I’m not gay
Cancer: *running around the house playing airhorn noises on this phone*
Leo: watch me whip. *slips and hits his head on the fridge*
Virgo: dude, I just hacked this server in minecraft
Libra: dad’s a republican???? what the fuck
Scorpio: I kinda want a tarantula to devour me in my sleep
Sagittarius: haha… I just ate an entire jar of peanut butter
Capricorn: yeah okay shut up, I get it, you’re gay. you only tell me like every 5 seconds
Aquarius: my favorite anime is sword art online
Pisces: why does god hate me